


as my World d[ivides]

by TechnoSkittles



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Heavily Implied Sexual Abuse, Heavy Angst, I'm going straight to hell for this, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Past Rape/Non-con, Underage Rape/Non-con, adora has awful coping mechanisms, catra is an enabler, heavily implied rape, this gets dark folks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-18
Updated: 2018-12-18
Packaged: 2019-09-21 17:05:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17047157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TechnoSkittles/pseuds/TechnoSkittles
Summary: Something was off and they both knew it. But they wanted to unknow it. They wanted to forget.Adora wanted to let go. Catra wanted to keep her eyes shut.So they pressed on.





	as my World d[ivides]

**Author's Note:**

> I've read a few fics of this nature over the past couple of days and....well....
> 
> Yeah I probably deserve to be yelled at.

She wakes to gentle touches and prodding fingers.

Eyes fluttered open and there was Adora, hovering and unsure. Through sleep-addled fog she mumbled out a disjointed question, but her words were swallowed upon conjuring. A warm tongue ran along the bottom of her lip and shivers gripped her spine, their icy chill waking her in an instant.

Sense and logic, the damn things, came with her sudden awareness and she pulled away, out of breath. Rejection reflected in Adora's eyes, soft blue submerged in crystalline pools. Hands reached out for her and Catra hesitantly allowed it.

Soft flesh, warm and pulsing, cupped her cheek and she subconsciously leaned into the touch, wrinkling her nose as she did so.

"You smell weird," it was the wrong thing to say.

Adora flinched and nearly retracted her hand, pools overflowing and threatening to drown her too. Fast reflexes caught the withdrawing hand, pulling it close again. Deft fingers curled, wrapped around limp, calloused ones.

It was enough.

Adora surged forward again and this time Catra caught her, her free hand reaching out to steady her wobbling frame. A hand found its way into her mane of hair, shaking and twitching, before finding purchase at the base of her neck, a fistful that she tugged, pressing, pulling, sighing. Nails scraped across sensitive skin and Catra's chest swelled with air, brows furrowed with heightened want.

Her back hit the bed with barely a sound, Catra being careful enough to make all of this soundless. It was natural to settle herself between Adora's legs and even more so when Adora rolled hers upwards, sparking a friction that would burn them both to the ground.

A growl tore up her throat and she ripped her hand away from Adora's, opting instead to grip both of Adora's thighs, pulling them onto her hips. This prompted a strained whimper and Adora going rigid, her breath stilling and lips going slack. The ripples in her eyes wavered, distorting Catra's reflection, and though she couldn't see it clearly, she knew the bottom was barren. The crystals had gone and suddenly, the pools were just a cracked mirror - distorting her, useless, breaking her.

Catra dropped her hands from Adora's thighs to the sheets below, holding herself up. And Adora woke up.

"Kiss me," she pleaded, but didn't wait for permission. Soon as the words had been uttered Catra was being eaten alive, lips sucking and teeth pulling. Adora's tongue pushed forward, hot and full and large enough to suffocate, but Catra let her in.

She tasted weird, too.

There was something about all of this. It was off. This was her Adora and this was nothing they hadn't done before. Curious minds always sparked curious hands and this wasn't the first time they'd roamed each other's bodies. Adora was a map that Catra had long-since charted, fingers taking care to trace each route, sculpt each moutain and traverse each plateau with an utmost fascination and dedication. Each crevice, each dip, each peak and valley were her discoveries that she'd marked down and plotted.

But as her fingers ghosted across papery skin, she noticed the texture was wrong. Her marks had been smudged and her plots erased, moved, torn.

Adora winced when Catra's thumb pressed into a bruise on her hip. When she pressed harder a whimper dripped from those pretty, swollen lips and she went lax in Catra's arms.

As an apology, Catra sunk down and pressed a kiss to the mark, lips pressing into the palm of the hand-shaped mark. She didn't ask. Adora didn't offer.

Hands on her shoulders coaxed her upwards and she followed obediently, moaning as their lips collided. Her tail curled around her own leg as she arched her back to press her chest into Adora's, priding herself at the mewl that vibrated against her lips.

She wanted to hear more.

Her hips rolled forward, digging roughly into Adora's own and her head flew back, open mouthed in a silent scream. Catra took the opportunity to dive for her neck, teeth bared and tearing into supple skin. She rolled her hips to accompany each bite, careful to avoid the purpling bruises already there.

She didn't ask. Adora didn't offer.

She felt Adora's body shudder as her tongue dragged along the hot skin of her neck, lining her jaw and circling the shell of her ear. She tugged gently on the lobe of her ear, reveling in Adora's heated panting, losing herself in Adora's hands on her hips, pulling, pressing, tugging as their cores rolled together, circling and providing that beloved friction.

It didn't take much longer for things to elevate to the next level. The heat between them grew hotter, suffocating their every breath and melting their minds until the melded into one. Each move anticipated, each sigh expected, each touch guided without words, communicating without communication. They were in sync, knowing what and where the other needed them, could call each other's wants their own, felt each beat of their own within the other's chest.

In their dance Adora only faltered a few times, her step misplaced or forgotten entirely, only for Catra to reach down and pick up the slack, taking the lead and guiding them across the floor. There was shame in Adora's movements, an apology in each blink and shuddered breath and the air around them turned metallic. There was a vibrancy, an electricity that constricted them, pained them, and Catra could taste each syllable, each individual letter of "sorry" on her lips.

Something was off and they both knew it. But they wanted to unknow it. They wanted to forget.

Adora wanted to let go. Catra wanted to keep her eyes shut.

So they pressed on.

Hands desperate to hold onto something, lips and tongues desperate to taste, skin itching to feel something over and not under, soft caresses and not crawlers that threatened to rip and tear.

The night was theirs, but the moon always casted shadows, infesting the Fright Zone with tangible nightmares.

When Catra lifted up Adora's shirt over her chest she shivered then mewled into her ear and a hot mouth descended, encapsulating one of her pebbled nipples. Arms wrapped around the back of her head and tugged harshly. Wrinkles adorned her forehead, concentrating, eyes wide open, banishing the shadows that lurked in her peripheral.

"Catra," she whispered. A reminder.

A light hand on her unbruised hip was confirmation enough. Adora allowed herself to relax, head tilting back as a rough, hot tongue rolled around her nipple, panting softly. Her eyes open the entire time.

Can't forget. Can't slip.

The dark was a foreboding place, eager to clutch her with its icy grip and she warded it off with Catra's warm touch, chased it away with whispers of her name, pleaded silently to be allowed this one good thing.

No matter. It still lingered. Lying in wait. Watching with sick perversion.

Her breath hitched, teeth clamping down on her breast and the first tears fell.

Her hands pressed harder, clutching tighter as her chest heaved. Her legs, hoisted on Catra's lips, clamped tighter and wrapped around her waist, and she saw stars when her hips collided with her core. Her teeth worried her lip, sharp, too sharp, cutting.

When Catra lifted her head, her thumb wiped away the blood dribbling down her chin, rubbing it into nonexistence.

She didn't ask. Adora didn't offer.

Their next kiss was bitter, rustic in taste, heavy in voluntary ignorance, blinded by lust. Adora faintly felt Catra's hand creeping her neck, threading through her ponytail and roughly pulling it apart. Her hair spilled out onto the pillow and she broke apart with it, barely restraining another sob.

Mismatched eyes questioned and she denied. Through tears and inky blackness she denied because she just wanted to feel something else. Something familiar. Something warm.

Before the words could form in her mouth Adora shut them down, eyes pleading, body aching and yearning for a touch that she initiated, a touch she okayed.

It was the closest Catra would ever get. It was the closest Adora would confess.

A hand trailed down her naked stomach, bypassing fresh bruises and red scratches, ghosting through them as if they weren't there. As if Adora had always been here in Catra's arms, had lain her in her own bed the whole night, as if the light had never been snuffed out by the dark.

Her touch was delicate. Unsure? Hesitant.  _Afraid_.

_The pent up fear constricting her lungs, the muffled moans that echoed in a room devoid of light, the tears she drowned in as she waited for an end…._

Panic fueled her and she curled her fingers tighter, lip wobbling as she breathed out, "Please?"

She needed only ask once.

That same hand dipped below her waistband and Adora's legs spread on command, wider, inviting. She needed this. More importantly she  _wanted_  this.

A finger pressed against her and she gasped, hips jerking, chest expanding, a wave of sensation coursing through her veins.  _Yes_.

(A finger curled against her, in a far off, hazy dream and she had cried out against the hand muffling her voice, a resounding "no" echoing, ignored.)

The finger curled, rubbing along her slit, wetting itself with her slick and her eyes rolled back, the white of possession, the purity of freedom. A long sigh left her parted lips. The finger curled again, pressing inside swiftly, filling her.

Her fingers twitched on sturdy shoulders, unsure whether to pull or push, to welcome or deny. The familiarity of the sensation, the motion….it was tainted. Glossed over, painted black, poisoned with memory. She hated it.

Catra moved slowly, coaxing out more sighs and Adora did her best to stay quiet - (" _Keep quiet girl...yes, good, like that")_. Her throat ached to scream as the thrusting increased, her hips rolling with each one and there was a pressure in her stomach building, a pressure in her chest crushing.

Words were whispered in her ear and she strained to hear them, but the darkness had infected her, clogging her ears and ruining her cognitive abilities. Nails bit into fur arms, grounding herself.

"Catra," she moaned. Another reminder. "Catra, Catra…."

(" _Won't you call out my name?")_

A sob hitched in her chest and, louder, "Catra!"

"Keep it down, dummy!"

The fingers inside her twisted and she arched into the motion, nails digging in more. The pressure continued to build, pressing, convulsing, and she felt herself begin to unravel. Her mind was deteriorating and she was losing herself, she had lost herself, gone and never to be found again.

_She saw herself laying on the bed, hands clutching the sheets, tears running free and mouth open in a silent scream. Inky black hair wrapped around her frame, pinning her, strangling her, filling her to the brim until she felt herself begin to rip at the seams. The shadows lurked at the edges, tendrils reaching to brush against her, eagerly waiting to pick her apart once the pieces began to chip off…_

Her body began to shake, her legs trembling and chest sputtering as she gasped for air. But her lungs only gulped in the darkness, snakes slithering in and filling her, weighing her down and pinning her to the mattress. Everything spun.

Overwhelmed, the tears carved themselves into her cheeks, blurring her vision and the shadows made their move, closing in and wrapping themselves around her, constricting. Forceful.

The fingers pulled away and she cried out at their loss, her hips rolling forward to catch them. But they were gone. Gone and now she was falling, sinking into a depthless void and…

"Adora."

Her voice was gentle, quiet. A silver fishing line cast into the tar-like void she found herself floating in. She swiped at it, desperate to grab on and ride it to the surface, but as soon as she extended her hand, the tendrils whipped out and caught it, pulling her down further.

She was vaguely aware of thumbs dragging across her cheekbones. She startled at the sensation of warm lips pressed between her brows and she opened her eyes, light flooded the darkness and blue and gold greeted her as she surfaced.

Her chest shook and whimpers spilled from her lips that tasted of salt and it took her a couple more seconds to realize she was now openly sobbing.

Something akin to pity filled Catra's eyes and Adora flinched away - she didn't  _want that_. She dodged it, heads reaching up and pulling down, wanting to drown everything out, wanting to suffocate.

Her desperation was a plea.  _Don't stop. Keep going._

Reluctance made Catra's next actions sluggish, but she sat up nonetheless, pulling Adora with her. In her eyes Adora could see the questions, the conclusions, the pieces she was lining together.

But she didn't ask. And Adora didn't offer.

Catra pulled Adora onto her lap and she slid on compliantly, arms wrapped around Catra's neck, holding her steady. Her hand returned to the juncture between her thighs but this time she didn't enter. She sat there in wait, eyes watching.

Adora reached down and guided Catra's hand, directing her fingers inside of her again and sighing at the fulfillment of feeling her again. When she didn't move, Adora began to roll her hips, riding Catra's fingers as she built herself up again.

Control. Catra was giving her control.

The thought made her weep. But Catra never faltered. Only watched.

She was building up faster this time, pressing down hard onto Catra's fingers, rubbing her clit against her palm. Her panting muffled by Catra's shoulder, Adora felt herself began to shake again and she strained against it.

Catra noticed. "You can let go."

(" _Give yourself unto me."_ )

Adora shook her head, fingers curling tighter. Control….she needed  _control_ ….

A hand placed itself on the small of her back, steady and reassuring.

"I've got you. It's just me."

Adora crumbled.

She began to unravel, from her fingertips and her toes, shaking with the intensity of her barely constrained orgasm. Teeth dug into Catra's shoulder to muffle her scream as she felt a wave of pleasure crash down on her and tears ran freely down her face, soaking into Catra's shirt. All through it, Catra kept that steady hand on her back, whispering words of encouragement, of safety and security into her ear.

When Adora finally opened her eyes, looking over Catra's shoulder, she saw the shadows shift, the rustling like laughter, the curves of a sinister smile.

She climbed off of Catra, tears in her eyes, slickness between her legs and….empty.

Hollowed out and spent, she collapsed back onto her bed, breaths quick and heavy while her high died down. When Catra laid down next to her she moved without thought to allow her more room. When Catra pressed herself against her from behind, arms winding around her waist, she began to sob.

And so that's how they laid in the middle of the night, Adora crying and Catra confused, determined to not think much on any of it. She didn't want to know. She didn't want to affirm her suspicions.

So she didn't ask.

And Adora didn't offer.

**Author's Note:**

> Like my writing? Check out more @ technoskittles.tumblr.com/tagged/ash-writes


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